Sunday, December 16, 2007

Solo mothering=being solo?

Can I whine? Can I complain? Can I just simply beg for self pity?

I feel so alone.

I am addicted to blogs. Reading them that is. Every day at least 10 times, I check my bloglines for what other moms, and single moms are up to. I do this just for a sense of not being alone in this world, yet, I do not know any of these moms. Sure I have traded a few comments here and there...and doodlebug moms I have "known" most since we were prego...but I dont "know" anyone.

I pretty much have no friends IRL. I have my boss..who is a good friend..but sucky boss and that is it. I just dont feel that. I have noone to go visit...no one to say "Hey let's do lunch or dinner or drinks".

I have a male friend but that is all he is. We have tried more offline, but it didnt work because he has social anxiety and in the presence of people he clams up. It is real odd..because he is hilarious and so open online, but you get him in person..and nothing. I often hope one day he will wake up and things will change but 39 years of being like this...I dont see it happening anytime soon, but in his defense he is trying. He is on medication and finally seeing a therapist on my urging. I think that I urged him so much just so that maybe one day we can make something of our relationship..but Im not holding my breath. I'm just glad that he recognizes his problem and is trying to fix it. I know that he wants a relationship with me..but he knows my issues with him and he understands. We have discussed it, online of course. LOL

I do have to give credit to my mom. She has become my best friend. Though I can almost talk to her about anything, she is still my mom and I love her with all my heart.

Maybe when I start school..there will be other women in my situation who I can relate to...we will see.

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