I hate when people aren't online...

Here I am at 12:40AM...and wanting to just chat, and noone is online that I usually chat with.

Sure, I could go into a chat room...but I hate them anymore. Everyone is about drama, it is all meaningless utterance, and to be honest...I don't want to talk to a bunch of men who see me in the chatroom as another target. Sure I wouldn't mind meeting someone...but most men who message me online out of a chatroom, are interested in one thing, and right now...I'm not about that.

In fact, I could care less if it was a female or male to chat with..but alas..noone.

Anyways..just another meaningless post..I know.

Snowed In!

Well..Ohio is getting slammed by a snow storm. They are expecting 10-18". Here is sit with Sunrise and wishing I could go somewhere.....anywhere.

Funny thing is..that I dont WANT to go anywhere....I just dont like the inability to go anywhere when I please.

So I am going to sit here and watch bad Saturday afternoon tv....make bread....do laundry...clean and go visit a ton of sites for the Blog party!

Solo mothering=being solo?

Can I whine? Can I complain? Can I just simply beg for self pity?

I feel so alone.

I am addicted to blogs. Reading them that is. Every day at least 10 times, I check my bloglines for what other moms, and single moms are up to. I do this just for a sense of not being alone in this world, yet, I do not know any of these moms. Sure I have traded a few comments here and there...and doodlebug moms I have "known" most since we were prego...but I dont "know" anyone.

I pretty much have no friends IRL. I have my boss..who is a good friend..but sucky boss and that is it. I just dont feel that. I have noone to go visit...no one to say "Hey let's do lunch or dinner or drinks".

I have a male friend but that is all he is. We have tried more offline, but it didnt work because he has social anxiety and in the presence of people he clams up. It is real odd..because he is hilarious and so open online, but you get him in person..and nothing. I often hope one day he will wake up and things will change but 39 years of being like this...I dont see it happening anytime soon, but in his defense he is trying. He is on medication and finally seeing a therapist on my urging. I think that I urged him so much just so that maybe one day we can make something of our relationship..but Im not holding my breath. I'm just glad that he recognizes his problem and is trying to fix it. I know that he wants a relationship with me..but he knows my issues with him and he understands. We have discussed it, online of course. LOL

I do have to give credit to my mom. She has become my best friend. Though I can almost talk to her about anything, she is still my mom and I love her with all my heart.

Maybe when I start school..there will be other women in my situation who I can relate to...we will see.