Monday, July 14, 2008

A HUGE leap of faith

Tomorrow, I am taking a huge leap of faith and trusting that my gut is right.  Tomorrow I am meeting Michelle.  This is a huge leap of faith for both of us.   Since both of us were beaten by the same man, there isn't much surprise, that I think both of us are nervous.

With the recent onslaught of events revolving around Chris, our emails have gotten more and more frequent.  She is really afraid for me.  Chris doesn't require anything from her, so she feels like she is safe.  But being the Chris as reached out to me...she is panicked that the ex will come after me again. I gotta be honest, now I am panicked.

But I regress...this meeting is going to be very hard.  Hard emotionally especially, because we have established such a kinship for going through the same things with the same man. I know that I am afraid a teeny tiny bit about what if she has hooked back up with him...but mostly because I am afraid to have to face some feelings that I have pushed down wayyyyyyyy deep for the past 4 years.  But I think in the end...it will be a relief.  I am prepared for tears...and probably an onslaught of more nightmares that have reoccured since the whole Chris thing has developed, but I think all will be well.

Wish us luck, that we will be able to resolve within ourselves some of the pain that we still live with day to day.

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