Monday, September 22, 2008

Keep Hoping Mr. Wrong is Mr. Right....

I have spoken a few times about trucker. He is a wonderful guy, and treats me and Sunrise with the utmost respect and care. However, I have never been able to "connect" with him.

I have tried...and tried. We dated for awhile (I said 4 months..he says 9..LOL) and we never had sex. I had no interest in having sex with him. My big problem is that he treats us so well, why can't I have an interest beyond going out to dinner, or going to events? Part of me wonders if it is because he isn't a "bad boy" that he is not attractive to me...or is it because I just have no intrest in him. It is weird, because before I had a life changing transformation years ago...a guy gave me attention and I was all about getting into a relationship, but now..not so much. He would love to marry me and settle down...and he would offer me the stability I would love so much(though I can accomplish once school is out alone).

Saturday he took Sunrise and I out to dinner. We had a nice dinner, nothing thrilling but it was nice. He invited me to go on a camping trip with him this weekend. I originally told him yes, because I'm thinking..."YES! A kid free weekend!", but now I am regretting it! I don't want to go. Normally, I would go under other circumstances, but with him..ughhh. I know that he will want some..and I wont give what do I do?

I hate to dash his dreams AGAIN!. I am a horrible person I know, don't smack me down for it...But everytime we get into contact, I WISH that this time will be different and that I will magically fall in love with him, but I just don't see it happening.

I hate to tell him..........but I don't want to hurt him. I am never good at this kind of thing.

Have you ever had a person in your life that you wanted it to be more, but just couldn't make yourself accept it?

Any advice? Please don't tell me to just be honest, because I know that is what I SHOULD do..but I just can't bring myself to it.

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