Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Barbara Walters is THAT stupid????

I normally do not watch the View, and today I accidentally ran across it, and now I know why I don't watch it.

The conversation was about Chris Brown and Rhianna.  The discussion at the point where I sprung out of bed and started screaming at the television was when Barbara Walters opened her mouth and said "First time his fault, second time your fault." WHAT THE HELL???  I never cared for her, but now I down right can't stand her!  She obviously is uneducated about domestic violence and the cycle of violence.  Come on Barbara...I'd love to talk to you about this, because I find that you are VERY uneducated and know NOTHING about it.

Do you want to know my 2 cents??? Well..since this is my blog...I'm going to tell you.  After all, that is why I type this blog right? LOL :)  I'm just teasing...but honestly this is the way it is.  I don't care if it is the first time, second time, or 100th time a man hits a woman, it is never EVER EVER her fault. (For the record...I am using her and him because that is the most usual battered person, a woman...but it can be reverse).  Over the years, when I tell my story...it is inevitable that someone will say, "Why didn't you just leave?"  or "It would have stopped if you would have left."   These are the stigmas associated of victims of domestic violence...but let me give a little lesson, so that I can be part of the education in domestic violence.  When women go back, they don't go back because they want to be beaten again, they go back for so many more reasons, that unless you have been in the situation, you will never understand.  Some of the reasons they go back is because they are promised the world....they are promised it will never happened again...their abuser becomes the person that they originally fell in love with again. Another reason they go back, is typically the abuser controls the money...so the victim has nothing, therefore (especially when the victim has kids) they feel that have to option since they have no money.  And on other reason is that often the victim has been alienated from friends and family...they have nowhere to go (other than shelters) and feel like the only home they can have is with the abuser.

I was reading some of the message boards on The View website..and one thing that was brought up was that people are ticked that Rhianna is being "punished" and being told she is not allowed to contact Chris...I believe this is to save her, not to punish her.  In fact, when I went before the judge in my protection order hearing...my ex was told that regardless if I started the contact or not, HE is responsible to stay away.  If I found him, HE had to leave.  For instance if he was at the local swimming place...and I walked in...HE had to leave.  Or if I called him, HE had to hang up on me.  My ex tried to fight it when she told him that, which was hillarious because his attorney told him to shut up...but he tried to say he was going to go to school too (where I was going at the time), and what if we were in the same building...that just isnt fair.  The judge looked at him and said "I SAID, if she is somewhere...YOU have to leave..no option". 

One final thing...a man should NEVER hit a woman, regardless if she did it or not.  He needs to leave.  Dr Phil said this before, and I believe this...but sometimes I wonder about it.  Though it is true that most of the time the abuser is a man...so I guess it seems to fit.  What do you think?

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