Just because...

My latest 4 posts were a little off the wall.  This was due to the lack of sleep.  You maybe happy to know, that I slept a good 12 hours last night, plus a couple of hours before that while Grandma watched Sunrise. 

So I figured I would just post this, because I am proud of this photo...which doesn't happen often with photos that have me in it.

Kids are so resilient...

(Please forgive this and the other following posts I post tonight..they maybe long winded, because I am sitting here high on Vicodin for a bad toothache I have...)

As I sit here looking at my beautiful angel sleeping beside me...my mind goes to something that happened Tuesday night, it wasn't a big thing, but for some reason it is sticking in my head...

Lately, Sunrise has been fighting the whole bedtime thing. It's worse when I am trying to study, because not only has she been fighting bedtime, she has been going through a needy stage.  Not a stage of whiny crying needy...just that she wants my attention.  It just breaks my heart, because at almost 3, she is unable to get that my studying is very important for us.  I hate it as much as she hates me doing it, but I know I must, but she just doesn't get it. At 3, I can not blame her. She wants to be held...played with...talked to. 

Don't think she is being neglected, because believe me she is not. In fact, I have been postponing studying as much as I can because I am a procrastinator, and  would rather be studying, so I find anything and everything that I can do with her to make excuses for not studying.(Thankfully my grades have not suffered, see my next post)

I regress...so Tuesday night, I was studying for my nursing class..trying to get prepared for a test. These nursing tests are very important(again, see the next post).  I need to pass these tests(which is a 76% or higher in nursing classes, and they are NOT easy). Sunrise kept coming up to me...playing with my toes, wanting to be held, then when I put her to bed..she kept coming out to talk to me.  This all ended up with her dragging "blankie" and "blanket" and pillow with her(blankie is her treasured blanket that she received as a gift when she was born from the company I was working at, blanket is the Care Bears blanket she loves too..too cute how kids come up with names).  She lays them out on the floor and proceeds to play with her baby, asking me to play with her. I finally gave up on studying (this was at 12:30 AM) and brought her into the bedroom and bed with me.  I tried to wind down while watching some of my DVRd shows..and she continued to play. She eventually got mad at me when I would make her lay down, and started to cry and scream.  I kept trying to hold her to calm her down, and finally she fell asleep.

It was 2 AM before she fell asleep, and 3 before I did. Mind you I had to be out the door at 7:00.  She woke up Wednesday morning and fought me tooth and nail to stay asleep. We finally rushed out the door(still fighting with me) at 7:15.  I got to daycare and told them how late she was up and apologized for her mood today.  She would be fine after a nap.  I picked her up, and it was as if nothing happened.

This all got me thinking and about us adults.  Why are we not so resilient?  Why do we hold onto pain and hurt for many years?? An almost 3 year old forgets in less than 24 hours anger and hurt....where as it can take 24 years to get over pain and anger.

Thank God for Blue's Clues....

Today was my day off of school(Oh yeah..I quit my job, don't think I told you that), I had a TON of studying.  Ugh a whole other post.  So I sit here for 6 hours postponing studying.  Well ok..I didn't just sit here, I washed dishes, started laundry, cleaned this and that, played with Sunrise...ANYTHING to NOT do my studying.

Well finally about 3 o'clock rolled around and I decided it was time to start studying. Grandma was home, and some of her needs could be met by grandma...while I studied.

Ok..so I start studying and Sunrise will come in and say hi to me...talk to me...give me kisses. I'll take study breaks and go hang out with her for a little bit...etc. 

Tonight around 8...grandma said that she thinks that the child was ready for bed. Hmmm ok...So I take a break and get her all ready for bed...tuck her in..kiss her good night.  This is when I started cursing out the company who made toddler beds!

I think she came out six times to say hi and give me a kiss goodnight. Before I knew it..she had all her blankets out on the kitchen floor at my feet laying there with her hands behind her head looking at the ceiling.  You could tell she was exhausted. 

So finally after looking at her exhausted body on the floor at 11PM, I got her up...and took her to bed...and turned on Blue's Clues.

Yes she was asleep in minutes!  Now to return to my studying....