Sunday, December 16, 2007

Read this..Please

Check out this link. It is the holiday wish list for single moms. It shows what single moms need during the season. It is written for those who know a single mom.

Help with Video

I wanted to add some stuff (text, story behind video etc.)to the video posted below but I couldnt figure out how to do it with photobucket. I tried to use the edit html and add the link but it didnt work. Anyone have any help they can give me?


New Video Camera early Christmas Present

Solo mothering=being solo?

Can I whine? Can I complain? Can I just simply beg for self pity?

I feel so alone.

I am addicted to blogs. Reading them that is. Every day at least 10 times, I check my bloglines for what other moms, and single moms are up to. I do this just for a sense of not being alone in this world, yet, I do not know any of these moms. Sure I have traded a few comments here and there...and doodlebug moms I have "known" most since we were prego...but I dont "know" anyone.

I pretty much have no friends IRL. I have my boss..who is a good friend..but sucky boss and that is it. I just dont feel that. I have noone to go one to say "Hey let's do lunch or dinner or drinks".

I have a male friend but that is all he is. We have tried more offline, but it didnt work because he has social anxiety and in the presence of people he clams up. It is real odd..because he is hilarious and so open online, but you get him in person..and nothing. I often hope one day he will wake up and things will change but 39 years of being like this...I dont see it happening anytime soon, but in his defense he is trying. He is on medication and finally seeing a therapist on my urging. I think that I urged him so much just so that maybe one day we can make something of our relationship..but Im not holding my breath. I'm just glad that he recognizes his problem and is trying to fix it. I know that he wants a relationship with me..but he knows my issues with him and he understands. We have discussed it, online of course. LOL

I do have to give credit to my mom. She has become my best friend. Though I can almost talk to her about anything, she is still my mom and I love her with all my heart.

Maybe when I start school..there will be other women in my situation who I can relate to...we will see.

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Friday, December 14, 2007

Medical Tests UGH

Yesterday I went for an upper endoscopy. What this is is simply put that they put a tube down your throat and look at your digestive track from the esophagus to your stomach. It wasn't that bad of a procedure I must say. I went in, they put an IV in me..took me to the room, pumped me full of the dream drug..and next thing I knew I was back in my room being woke up.

Turns out that I have a hiatal hernia and very red and raw throat. They also did a biopsy on my stomach lining. I am not sure why they did the biopsy because I was asleep when they told my mom, and of course she didn't ask. I wonder if there was something strange in there or if the hernia with the red raw throat could make them want to check just in case. We will see when either the biopsy comes back or my next appointment on 1/11.

I did talk to the RNs there at the center and they all had encouraging words about nursing so that helps me out a lot. They said that it is a great profession they feel. Also, my only apprehension about doing RVs will go away with time and practice(I need a practice The only reason I have this apprehension is because I'm a hard stick. I always come out with black and blue marks up and down both arms. I am waiting for the day that I get pulled over by a cop and he asks what I have been shooting up. LOL Or worse, going into a store and getting the stares by the passerbys wondering why this poor woman has stayed in such an abusive relationship.

On another note. I called it quits with Mechanic. I cant handle his moodiness. He is going through alot but I cant handle not hearing from him for days on end because he just doesnt feel up to talking. I need to know Im thought about, I need to know he cares. I called and texted him several times to check on him...sometimes he'd answer...sometimes not. I told him the last time I communicated with him to get back to me when he is ready...I cant go on this way. I feel relieved but sad. He also has my pack and play! UGH! I need to get that back.

Well I better get some work done..shhhhhhh dont tell the boss.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

An About Face all read that I was looking forward to starting and getting my business ready, whatever it may be. Well things have changed...yet again

This all started actually when I was preggo with Sunrise. I was in and out of the hospital for the last month and half due to blood pressure issues and a few other things. I had this wonderful nurse named Sharon in Perinatal. I got her the second admission when I was admitted for my blood pressure sky high. I also had a HORRBILE headache and I begged for something for it. She gave me percocet...within about 2 minutes of taking it, it all came back up. She told me that she was not able to give me anything else unless I wanted her to go sift through to make sure I did not injest it...How nice was that? I dont know the last time someone offered to do something like that for me. On each of my admissions after if she was working that week, she would ask for my case since she was used to me. The last time I saw her, she gave me a teddy bear for Sunrise for when she was born. When I had Sunrise, I got ahold of her so she could see Sunrise...She came over to the maternity ward and saw her. We exchanged photos and thank you cards I will always think fondley of Sharon, RN.

My boss and I were talking the other day and it looks like we may have issues at work that jeapordizes our jobs. We are concerned our location may close after the first of the year. The other day I got to talking to one of the girls at work and decided that I need to do something fast. I cant wait for my business to pick up enough to support me and Sunrise, so......I decided to go back to school for nursing.

Im so excited. Though it is kind of odd since only about 3 years ago I would have said "Ewww no I couldnt be a nurse" but things started getting to me and I realized that I CAN be a nurse.

So my dear readers...On Dec 28 I have an appointment to take my nursing entrance exam and look into starting school. Though I dont think I will be able to start until May! Wish me luck.

Well..I have been having breathing issues so I need to get to my nyquil and bed.


Sunday, December 09, 2007

Lost comments

UGHHHHHH....I lost most of my comments.

My apologies to all that have comment. I cant remember everyone but I know there was Kate, Naomi, Amanda, Rachel, ughh I know there is more...

I changed off of Haloscan and forgot that it manages comments too...Sorry :(

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

ER, Dentists and all the fun stuff

Last week Sunrise decided to throw a fit at daycare. She throws big ones too. I am not one of those moms that cater to her fits, I let her throw them and ignore her until she is done. Often I have to leave the room, however, often she will follow me around the house and continue her fit. Her fits consist of throwing her head and body anywhere it will land...quit breathing and then scream, fun for me. So I have to ward them off and move her to the center of the room...that would make sense right? Well apparently daycare doesnt realize this.

She apparently didnt like having her diaper changed..but they changed it. While she cried and screamed the whole time. Instead of moving her to the center of the room to let her finish throwing her fit, they put her down by the art table...she threw her body down and hit her tooth on the edge of the table. She hit her tooth so hard that it pushed it up and back in her mouth, not to mention to chip it.

I took her to ER and waited 1-1/2 to see anyone. This kills me. I understand that the more severe patients go first, but they really need to do something for kids so that you can keep control of them. There is an automatic door that goes back to the triage area and then further back is the actual ER rooms. Sunrise discovered the automatic doors and how they worked. I was chasing her around in and out through the doors. I am sure that other parents were looking at us thinking "Yeah right..she should really be here" so I told everyone and anyone that she had this tooth stuck up in her gums and when she threw another fit..and hit my shoulder with her mouth...the blood came! I felt bad for her...but I felt like others werent looking at me strange anymore(is that bad??LOL). After seeing 3 doctors, one which had stated that this was the worse tooth trauma he had ever seen...they got me an appointment with the pediatric dentist for a few hours later. A dentist who doesnt take my insurance!! I made some calls..turns out there are no pediatric dentists in 50 miles of our house that takes our insurance...UGH. But I HAD to do it..Thank God for credit cards...It is for an emergency..and this was an emergency.

So we get to the dentist..Who I shall call Doctor McHottie! Yum! He was great with her! I loved this dentist. He stated that he said it was possible that the tooth would fall, but as bad as it was..he wouldnt bet on it. He said that it would probably have to get pulled eventually. Good news is that it looks to my untrained eye that it is falling on it's own! YAY!! Hopefully it is really falling right. The chip is below the nerves so there is nothing they are going to do for that. The other good news is that Dr. McHottie does not think that it will affect her adult teeth.

Here is the photos of it. First her swollen lip, then a very blurry photo of her mouth.

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Believe looks better than it was.

Enough of the is photos of her first haircut done the day before the "accident". is hard to see her bangs because they were brushed back...

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And the after. She didnt want her picture taken, so she closed her eyes...because we cant see her if she cant see us...Right?

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Ohhh the fun times

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Monday, December 03, 2007

My blog..ugh

I hate my blog layout. When I was looking for a template I thought" I have to have a 3 column layout! You are cool if you have 3 columns!". Now Im thinking "Why the heck do I need a 3 column layout? I cant think of anything to put in that other column!" So now Im on my way to look for another template...probably a 2 column layout...but first Dinner.

I need to make dinner..or sunrise is going to drive me crazy. I rpobably should be thankful she can only say a handful of words right now..because Im thinking eventually Im going to hear "Mommmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Im hungry....Whats for dinner???" So cherish the plain old whiny voice now I guess.

Anyways I regress...Im goin to make diner and then look for a new template. I may blog some more after that...but then again..a mother's work is never done...