Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Pimping Cars, traffic and general roadrage

I'm driving home last night from purchasing my camera, and I experienced the worse case of roadrage that I have ever had. I have seen ex used to run people off the road if he felt they cut him off, just so he can scream in their face. But for the most part, I dont have what I consider roadrage. I might say loudly..."MORON" or other choice words...but by the time I get 2 miles down the road it is long forgotten...well until yesterday.

Im sitting on a main road at a light waiting for traffic so I can make a left. A lady pulls up beside me a little in front and stops. What the heck..she has a green light..she should be going. There is no one on our side of the road...what..wha...WHAT THE HECK..SHE IS CUTTING IN FRONT OF ME! Sooo I lay on the horn..what the does the bitch lady do? She lays on her horn it is some kind of my fault! She could have easily backed up if she missed her turn and gotten behind me..but no she had to pull out in front of me in the middle of the intersection so she could turn left. Now I tried to stay calm because Sunrise is in the car..but I wanted so bad to ram her car politely ask her what she thought she was doing. But I kept my calm and the first chance I got I passed her and gave her the one finger salute waved. UGhhh for some reason that burned me..but anyways..I need to get over it.

Now..I have one question..I will probably get slammed for this..but why the hell would you pimp out a Ford Focus???? I mean spoiler, loud stereo, flames on the side, tinted windows, the max...COME ON! That is as bad as an exboyfriend years ago pimped out his Ford Neon(when they were still not very cool looking , then again..are they now?). The boy put tinting on his window that reflected all kinds of pretty colors. Had thousands of dollars into his stereo that I couldnt stand listening to. And to make matters worse..he spent all his money on the radio, so that he didnt have money for the kit used to lower his what does he do?? He cuts the springs! WTH. I road with him 1 it ONE time..and refused to ride in that car with him again. By the time I got boobs felt like they had weights in them from bouncing...and I was sporting 2 black eyes from the bouncing up and hitting me in the face. And I had a sports bra on!

Next thing you know..they will be pimping out the Fiestas.....(Do they even make them anymore?_)

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

A few ponder

First...thanks to Anonymous who said that the song was Angel's Lullaby. I did find a song of similar name which was by Richard Marx..(remember him? The one with the big hair and the dreamy voice?).

I am looking for a camera. SLR type. Preferably refurbished so that I can learn how to use them. I have always been jealous of my friend Amber who takes BEAUTIFUL photos. See her blog! She has a business too, check it out. If you are in your area, I suggest maybe checking into having photos done by her.

I am working on ideas for a giveaway...I'll have more information later. I need to do some reading but it sounds like there is a ton of giveaways going on. I will send you the link later.

UPDATE THE NEXT DAY: I purchased a camera. I think I have the word "SUCKER" tattooed across my forehead. I walked into the camera store to look at a camera that I called about earlier in the day. They had a used Minolta Maxxum 5000 for 130, including 50mm lens. I get there...She told me that I needed the filter for the lens...22.00, of course I need the flash..25...and a bag...25...Ohhhh and film! 11.00(4+1 rolls 24 exposure 400), 230 dollars later...I walked out with my new camera, and kicking myself for buying a bunch of other stuff! LOL

Now to learn how to use it!

Saturday, January 26, 2008


Ok I think I just made that heading a little on the over exaggerating side..but this is driving me nuts.

I want titles of songs...songs that are "mom" songs...and even better single mom songs. You know..Some that you can sing to your little one..

I love to sing..but for the life of me I cant think of any good songs.

There was a song that Reba sang on her show (Episode called When the Red-Head Sings..or something like that). She sang it to her new granddaughter..I would LOVE to know the name of that song. I can not find it on any of her albums.

I dont think I wanna sing "Prop me up beside the jukebox".

I thought about doing a contest, but I dont think I have enough readers to do it. LOL


Life has been Caraaazzyyy

Things have been thrown around tossed up in the air..and dropped in the middle of the floor lately.

First Sunrise went into the hospital with RSV. Thankfully she is now ok. She was on oxygen and ivs for 3 days. Her o sats were very low and she refused to eat and drink. At first they thought it was double pneumonia..but the tests finally game back positive for RSV.

I started dating ummm let's call him Mark. He looks like the doctor Mark Green from the show ER. This has been hard. We went out a few days after Sunrise got out of the hospital. I needed the break and he wanted to take me out. I had a GREAT time! Then on Wednesday night we took Sunrise to an indoor gym type place. He seemed different. Just not as outgoing..he said that he was just exhausted. He had just got out of I took that..and accepted it. How could I not? But things just seem "different" from when we were talking on the phone for hours...and when we went out the first night. This weekend he has his kids...and I dont expect any call from him..but it would be nice just to hear a hello..just to know that he is still interested.

I have the option of dating other people, but I have no interest as long as Mark is in the picture. We will see after this weekend.

Finally..I got my income tax check!!! Woohoo...paid of 4 bought a laptop. Im just going freaking crazy excited. LOL I have a computer but there is nowhere to hook it needs a lot of work..and well, I just dont wanna LOL. Plus having the mobility of a laptop where I can take it anywhere I want and type..Im happy. And one day I wanna be one of those cool people who take their laptop to Starbucks or Panera Bread and hang out..drink coffee..and look important do important things.

I had my interview with the School for Nursing. I am almost sure it went real well..but the lady had to be vague about my chances. She did mention that my score was WONDERFUL...and that it was good I had a support system in place for Sunrise.. I THINK it went ok..but there is still that small doubt in my mind. I will know around the first week in March.

Well Sunrise is wanting held..I gotta run.

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

It's My Life. Im taking a stand!

The title came from one of the episodes of One Tree Hill tonight. Yes I am a One tree hill addict. In fact..I named Sunrise after one of the characters on the show(more on that later).

Usually I watch the show in a mindless he is cute..or wow I cant believe she said that...or why did they do that?? But tonight it seemed much deeper than I usually take it.

First, the title came from a little 4 year old who was afraid to run a soap box derby car...when he was asked if he was sure...he said "It's my life and Im taking a stand!" Wow..out of the mouths of babes(he was taught this earlier in the show). It was just so sweet and cute. But those words have such an impact. If you want something..or dont and everyone around you wants you to have it or dont..It's your life, you need to take a stand.

There was another line in the movie that really made me think. "What's worse...never getting what you wish for...or getting what you wish for but realizing it was not enough" hmmmm...that is real philosophical. I think..Id rather not get what I wish for. If I got what I wished for and it wasnt enough...Id always be yearning for that extra step. But then does one succeed without yearning for that extra step? Now I dont know which is better...What do you think?

Sunday was Sunrises Birthday. The poor girl..well without dwelling on it, really did not enjoy herself. I dont want to go into all the sordid details because I whined about it on the messageboards that I read...but all was made up at her daycare where I asked them to kind of make it more special because of the bad time the day before. Here is my little princess from the daycare party.


And here she is looking like quite the suspicious one...LOL


I have something special to post for her birthday..but I need to do some revisions. Hard to believe that it has been 2 years. I see babies on Discovery Health all the time and it makes me wish for another...but Im keeping my legs crossed...I cant do a second child as a single mom and going to school again.

Im waiting on the school to call and give me an appointment for an interview so I can see when I will be starting school. I have no doubt that they will let me in, if not in March..then in June(I think it is). All I have to do is work through financial aid...and I will be set.

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Sunday, January 06, 2008

Happy Birthday My Special Princess

Dear sweet little girl...

When I found out I was pregnant with you there was a mixture of emotions. I cried at first because I was not sure I could handle being a single mom...but I was so happy because I was told at one time that they did not think I would be able to have children. I held my breath every day as it passed...Worried that tragedy would hit and you would not join me in the world..but you were strong and you held on. Even in the womb you were very set in your ways. You did not like when they strapped the fetal monitor on you. You just were not having it! There were many times over the 9 months that you would let it get on you..but within minutes it was a game between you and the nurses of hide and seek. I laughed..but I still said you were grounded when you were born!

In December of 2005 I started on a journey of difficulty. I was in and out of the hospital...for most of December. My blood pressure kept going sky high whenever I was at home..but when we would get to the hospital it would drop. One time they even thought I had a stroke, because I arrived at the hospital with a bloodpressure of 177/117, and the left side of my face was drooping and paralyzed. Thankfully it was only Bells Palsy..and that was a minor thing. When I was in the hospital I was on constant monitoring with the fetal monitor...Ohhhhh how many times Id be asleep and the nurses would have to come in and adjust the monitor in order to get back your heartbeat. Often when I was awake, I would do it they would not have to come back in.

Finally on January 2, 2006 I went to the doctors office and my blood pressure was back up. The doctor said she was sending me back to the hospital(this was the 8th time in a month that I had to go to L&D because of my bp). For 2 days they debated on what to do..since you were due on the 21st. They did an amnio and found that you were ok to be born. On January 5th, early morning they sent me over to L&D and started to try to induce, Memaw came and stayed with me all night, just in case you decided to come, but alas you decided to be stubborn. They were just so worried about the blood pressure...Soooo January 5th I started having contractions. Finally after being on pitocin all day on January 6th, the doctor on call said he wanted to do another day of induction, but the residents werent sure that was a good idea, so they called the next doctor on call for her decision and she said that we would go ahead and do the csection. I was so excited that I didnt think I could wait another day to meet you! So at 5:15 they wheeled me in to the operating room. Memaw was by my side. Funny story that you can tease Memaw about when you get older. Memaw was told by the doctors not to touch anything blue because it was sanitized and steral...Well while we waited anxiously Memaw had her camera..and soon as they pulled you out Memaw grabbed the camera and the doctors again reminded her not to touch the blue drape across...She kept grabbing it and pulling it down because she wanted to get as many pictures of her beautiful baby grand daughter. When they brought you up so I could see were beautiful(even not being know there are many ugly babies..LOL). But you were the most beautiful child I had ever seen. I cried. I was so happy to see you. When they told me you were healthy..I was so happy! After they wheeled us into recovery..I held you and could not believe that you were here. I was so in love with you. I could not imagine being without you ever.

All I kept thinking was ....You and me against the world baby

You are very special. You are are sweet...loving. You are very determined. You know what you want. You know when to give mommy a kiss when she needs it the most. You know what to say and when to say it.(though most of the time it doesnt make The nights when I need to have my beautful child next to me at night..and you wake up...I go to your bed and ask if you want to sleep with pop up so fast with arms out stretched. You lay down beside me...give me a kiss and put your arm on me..and pat my arm. It is as if you know I needed you.

I love you darling...I cant wait to see what the world has to offer us. The next few years are going to be rough with me going back to school..but honey, it will be so better for us in the long run. I will be able to give you things that you want and need when you get older.

I love my dear sweetheart. I wish for you in the next year(and forever...)to continue the feel the love that mommy has for you. To feel the love that Memaw, Papaw, David, Trent and even Jennie have for you.

Happy Birthday Darling!

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Catching Up

Well the holidays kicked my ass! So I have been laying low. Plus I took my Nursing School Entrance Exam, so I was studying for that(more in a minute).

Christmas was eh..ok. Sunrise still doesnt get the whole opening present thing. She knows how to open them..but she didn't get that once they were open..there was something inside...So she gave up. I have about 8 presents not opened and I am just goin to give them to her for her birthday...(Save me some money..besides she has enough toys now!).

New Years...In bed by 9 asleep by 10...Nothing thrilling. One of the guys on talk radio said it all when he said that it used to be we would party for 3 days and recover for one...But now, we party for one day and recover for 3. Not to mention...I dont like to be out on "amateur night". I dream of going to one of those hotel party where dinner, dancing...and stumbling walking up to the room and pass out..or whatever.

On the 28th I took my NET test. I got an 84. At first I was feeling disappointed because I didnt get 100...but then when I looked down at the stats on the sheet...the National average for the test is a 67! More score was in the superior column...only missing the Excellent by 6 points. So it looks like the national average is a D...and I got a B. LOL Now Im waiting for an interview time to get in.

Oh yeah, I dont know if I blogged about the endoscopy I had, but I had one done. Upper endoscopy that is. They found I had a hiatal hernia, and raw throat...Well they did a biospy of my stomach and that came back clean. So I have an appointment on the 11th for a follow up. I need to put my foot down tell her something needs to be done with my gall bladder..I had to take darvacett for two days straight because of the pain. I hope she listens to me. They havent been able to find my gall bladder for at least 9 years..something needs to be done if the duct is blocked. Especially if they can do it before school starts.

Well time for Sunshine to get to bed....Happy New Years and Merry Christmas!